I am so conflicted right now. As you may or may not know I've been studying with the Catholic church for a while now and have been attending church. I love the community, the faith and most of all I love the music. The basic values, particularly those of Jesus, also seem quite logical and human. (I won't turn this in to a Church obsession but I wanted to explain my interest a little.) Anyway part of my problem has been that despite my like of the Church some of its values have always irritated me. I particularly dislike their discrimination against women and the notion that Eve doomed us all.
To that end I've had another interest for a while now and that is Wicca. A bit about Wicca, before you jump to conclusions, is that it has nothing to do with the devil, killing or black magic. One feature is that it is quite variable (within certain ethical peramaters) and for me Wicca is about getting in touch with the earth. I feel that Wicca is a natural result of my interest in NOT plundering the Earth the way we so often do in modern society.
Anyway now I get to my confliction. Wicca and the Church have always seemed mututally exclusive to me. The Church is very against anything even resembling Wicca because it considers it evil (and I won't go in to the history of that right now but instead recommend 'Book of Shadows' by Phyllis Currot). But if the two cannot co-exist then how can I be a part of both? Wicca doesn't have anything telling me what I can and cannot do in terms of worship because it is respectful of all faiths. However by being interested in Wicca how can I possibly get the full Christian experience?
So what now? Can I be a part of both faiths given that they give me different things? Wicca gives me a connection with the earth I feel I need and Church connects me with people. I don't know what to do and I suppose, given enough time, I'll figure it out but until then I'm still confused.
A completely unrelated note. This morning it snowed. I needed something special after my horror assignment and exhausting final week and when Mum woke me at 6am it had snowed. I LOVE snow! It's always felt magical to me and this morning I feel like it snowed just for me. :)
Give me your thoughts - Do you have a confliction of faith? Have you had the same problem?
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