Weird few weeks at the moment. That's why this post has no title. I have no idea what to put because there isn't one thing going on, there's several.

Signed up to a dating website today. Feels pathetic because who can't get a date these days right? But it's my last hope - at least it feels that way - I haven't had a real date...well ever actually. I have had a couple of boyfriends but not seriously and they were all before I actually knew what a real date was. I dream of dates. A real "would you like to join me for coffee" date. I'm not necessarily talking 5 star restaurant but just old fashioned interest without the guy expecting me to make the first move or be clairvoyant. I feel like I'm expected to be either clairvoyant these days or do it all myself. But here's the problem. I find boldness attractive and I find being expected to do everything totally unattractive.

Next...recently I've begun hating TV. This is hard. I don't want to hate TV. I like TV. TV gets me through the hard times and keeps me company when I'm doing something awful or boring...like studying Latin. But the inevitible has begun. Until now reality TV ruled our lives but there was still decent quality programming out there. Now it's officially dead. Every week I see a new reality show being pushed at us. They took off V to put on "families of crime". UGH! And now even the news has descended in to chaos and insanity, putting people's private lives up and calling it news. That's not news, it's invasion of privacy.

Next there is my study. I am studying Latin. I've waited 15 years to study Latin. It wasn't offered at my school and so it was my first pick of subjects here. Well congratulations Uni...you've managed to make me officially HATE Latin! I'm failing it. I spend hour after hour on it, learning nouns and verbs and adjectives and trying to translate sentences and words and I get nowhere. I've spent countless hours studying, working, getting help from my Mum with the grammar and nothing. I still don't understand it and I don't see either help or it getting better.

Finally...I've spent the last several months...actually almost a year now...trying to shop more ethically. I've never been one to like putting chemicals into my body and since I started study again I've become much more aware of what goes in to the products we all use every day. I've cut back to makeup and skin products which aren't tested on animals, begun using fresh produce in my cooking and even started making my own pasta sauce instead of buying it for when I eat Nachos. Well my latest gripe is on candles. Whilst researching how to make them, just because I like to try a little bit of everything, and during this research I discovered that cheap candles are made of Parafin wax. A wax which releases toxic chemicals when burned. EW EW EW. I LOVE candles. I've been known to fill my bedroom with them and discovered once you can literally heat a room with candles. Now I'm turned off the cheap ones for life. And instead of making my own becoming a hobby it's now become a necessity. Not that I mind, as I said I like trying a bit of everything, I just can't believe that something I believed was alright is toxic. Something as lovely and harmless as a candle.

All of this makes me feel like something is very wrong with this world. I look around and I see people's lives becoming public domain for humiliation. I see people putting chemicals in things that don't need it like candles and garlic paste. I see people cheating themselves and each other and it all makes me sad. It feel sad that we've lost the basic instincts and knowledge that made us survive. Now instead of getting what we need with knowledge and logic we synthesize it. Ew! I'm sure I'm not the only one concerned about that. Since when is nothing natural?

It's late and I have...surprise surprise...Latin class in the morning so for now I'm signing off but I'd love some replies. I'd like to know I'm not sending these comments into a giant void to have them lost forever. Are you really there?

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Give me your thoughts - Do the things in this world concern you too?